Feeling For a Vessel
by just-a-shadow-of-death
Summary: Cas is called back to the Garrison and Dean has to live without his lover for a while.With only his Vessel to remind him of what they shared, Dean is shifting his feelings from Cas to Jimmy. Destiel. Dean/Castiel, Dean/Jimmy.


A door creaked loudly as an old warehouse was suddenly flushed with overwhelming rays of light that flew through the door. There were no windows for any air, no backdoor for second entrances and the entire place took less space than Sam's old dorm room in college. The place was perfect for their trap, a demon they were to kill in this warehouse because of location and such.

Dean threw his old duffel bag on the floor, zipping it open and pulling out spray and chalk. Not wasting any time, he began motioning the thick chalk in circles on the floor, creating a devil trap. Sam entered the old abandoned house momentarily later, whistling at the state of its being.

"No wonder someone abandoned this place, just look at it." Sam also, threw his duffel bag on the floor and unzipped it, unlike Dean's; Sam had very complex weaponry in the bag. Their plan is to trap the demon and just shoot the hell out of it, but like any good hunters, they had a second plan.

Dean admired his perfect round circle on the floor and stood up, "Yeah, well at least its cleaner then the last one." He took out a spray from his bag and finished up the remaining of the trap.

"I can't argue with that." Sam granted, cocking a freshly filled gun.

"Dean, I sense them." Cas, from behind Sam spoke. Sam tensed up and turned around.

"Cas, what the hell?" He quickly chirped. "Don't sneak up like that."

Cas looked at Sam incredulously, "You said to call you when the demons are close," he nodded, "I came to tell you the demons are close."

"Yeah, but"-

Dean cut Sam off before he could finish the sentence, "Alright Sam, he's just doing what we told him."

"That's right," Sam gave a huge fake smile, "Take his side."

Dean rolled his eyes, knowing Sam was just being prissy and not really serious. The conversation was dropped as Sam took out a gun and hid it under his shirt, and then he pulled out another. "Cas, are you with us?"

"No, I don't fight anymore. I'll just wait for you outside." Cas zapped out as quickly as he finished his words.

Dean smirked, "Thanks."

Sam looked at his brother with a smug, "Some boyfriend you got there."

"Shut up, Sam."

* * *

The forest was as such, that a normal human or even an animal could have been lost at being there. But for Castiel, coming to the Amazon rainforest was becoming a second home. He sniffed in the fresh air and sat down on a log next to him. Dean and Sam were probably killing the Demon right now, he had to wait here till everything was clear, wait until Dean called him back so they can be together.

Over the past few months, after his release from the hospital, Dean and he had grown really close. Close as humans get, they had become lovers and they had gotten to kiss, which he really enjoyed. Out of everything Dean did with him, Kissing was the best. When they were entangled in bed, Dean hovering over him, pushing it in and out, his legs over Dean's shoulder, out of all that, kissing was above all that. That's where it all started, where heat always generated from.

A drop of water slid down a leaf and fell on Cas' cheek, alerting him to the chirp of a bird that was right above his head, sitting on a branch and singing a tune. The late night Amazonian moon lit the rainforest heavily, making all the features of the forest clear except where the shadows fell from the tall trees. It's was morning where Dean and Sam were, who still hadn't called for him, maybe the demon was strong, but he knew Dean could take care of it.

He tightened the trench coat around him when he suddenly heard his name, Cas stood up almost immediately. It was time to go. Again he heard his name, only seconds before realizing that it wasn't Dean and Sam that was calling him, it was someone from above. He looked up, confused and curious.

"Adin, Is that you?" He asked, looking up at the sky and receiving an angelic voiced answer.

* * *

"He should have at least told us, there was more than one!" Sam, shot another demon, successfully killing it.

Dean, hid behind a broken table and looked at where Sam was, covering behind a wall, "And how was he supposed to know?" He raised his head to look at the alarming amounts of demon coming towards him.

"Oh, I don't know." Sam said, tugging another gun out from behind his pants, "Maybe because he can 'sense' them." He overly widened his eyes to make a point and took another shot.

"Hey, you've got to remember he is losing his angel mojo." Dean remarked, looking up and shooting, "there are two more demons." Dean and Sam looked at each other before shooting all rounds of their salt and special demon gun on the two remaining demons; successfully killing them and watching the human bodies slump over.

"Yeah," Sam said, looking at Dean. "You got a point there." They smiled at each other and then looked down at the bodies, just another day at work.

"Where the hell are you?" Dean asked no one in particular as he pulled over into a motel parking lot where they were staying.

"He'll be here. Don't worry your little heart out." Sam spoke, taking both his and his brother's bag out, closing the back door heavily.

Dean creased his eyebrows, "How many times have I told you to be gentle."

Sam walked towards their room, "you need a new car."

"The Impala is perfect." Dean said, as he opened the door to their room and turned on their lights. He threw the keys on a table stand right next to the door and stepped in, with Sam right behind.

"Castiel, you can back now." Sam said, "We are in our motel room." He walked up to his bed and shoved the bags under their beds for no one to see.

After waiting silently for a moment and nothing happening, Dean hissed and rather impatiently called out. "Alright Cas, you are pissing me off. Get your ass back in here or I'll-" He sensed a presence behind him.

"I'm here Dean." Cas declared.

Sam made a 'whatever' face, knowing full well Cas always answered Dean. Dean turned around with a smug face.

"Glad to he-"

Castiel broke him off, "I've got good news." Cas came closer to Dean and spoke excitedly, "Adin called, she say's I'm being called for a hearing and that I could get a second chance and then I'll be-"

Dean shook his head, "Calm down Cas, I'm not going anywhere."

"Yeah, but I am." Cas responded, watching closely as the smile Dean was so beautifully wearing began wiping away. "Adin called, she said-"

"Where are you going?" Dean asked, "And who's Adin?"

"Adin is an old mentor of mine. She's a guiding light up in the Garrison."

Dean jolted, "Cas, tell me you didn't meet up with another angel?" Afraid that he had communicated, Dean examined his boyfriend, looking for any signs of struggle or fight that might have taken place. Cas could heal himself up, but there were other ways to know if someone had been in a fight. "Cas, are you okay?" Dean asked worried, walking up towards Cas and pulling him into a tight hug.

Cas hugged back. Gripping the leather jacket Dean wore and nestled his head in between his neck and chest, "I'm fine Dean." He looked up, suddenly realizing just how much he was going to miss his boyfriend when he would have to leave. Dean lightly crashed their lips and softly kissed Castiel.

"You were saying?" Dean asked, when assured that Cas was okay. There was a slight blush on Cas' cheeks and his big blue eyes looked at him deeply, a glint of sorrow in them. "Cas?"

Cas looked at Dean sadly, "I have to go Dean." He whispered.

"Go where?" Sam came up from behind Dean and asked.

Cas looked between his lover and his brother, "I'm going back to the Garrison, and Adin said I'm being called for a hearing."

Dean raised his eyebrows and a flash of anger beat him. "What?" He asked anger evident in his voice. "Come again?"

"Dean..."

"Shut up, Sam." Dean looked as Cas.

"I'm getting another chance." Cas repeated.

"Bullshit." Dean shook his head. "You know what they'll do to you. They'll kill you," he cupped Cas' face and ran his thumbs along each side of his lover's face, "think about it."

Cas pulled away from the touch, though he wanted to linger longer in it, he wanted to make Dean understand first. "No, Dean. This is Adin, I'm talking about, she is a guiding light, you see, she isn't just an angel, she is a Seraph being, the highest of them all."

"Cas, you can't go." Dean says, shaking his head with a determined look. "You are not going."

"Dean, I have to. My calling will be later on, I'm just here to spend more time with you and tell you."

"Spend more time with me? Cas, you are telling me that you are leaving? Are you serious?" Dean distinctly becoming emotional, "Will you be coming back?" He asked as an afterthought.

Cas looked down, the sudden realization hitting him.

"Did you even think about us, while you were busy making decisions, did you think about what we have going?" Dean suddenly started sounding bitter. "Cas, look at me."

Cas looked up, eyes filled with sorrow and a painful look on his face. "I feel…sad." He whispered, "Dean, I'm an angel of the lord."

"DAMIT, Castiel." Dean screamed, upsetting the fallen angel. "Tell me Cas, Did you think about us before you agreed to this?"

There was a silence in the room. The angel looked torn and irresponsive, having to not think he had to confirm his decisions with Dean first, he hadn't bothered. "I thought you'd be happy."

"Are you serious?"

"Dean."

"Shut up, Sam." Dean looked back and raised a hand towards his younger brother. "Please don't come in between."

Sam looked between Castiel and Dean. There was a silent fight going on, typical for a couple, and uncomfortable for a third wheel in the room. Cas looked afflicted, torn and in pieces, in their time being, Cas had learned human emotions and Sam felt bad and almost sorry for his angelic friend for what he was enduring. The man was in silent tears, if he had learned how to cry, Sam was a hundred percent sure Cas would be crying now.

Dean looked like a macho man from hell, staring Cas down with his aggressive look and stiff demeanor.

"Fine." Dean said, "You want to be with your friends so badly, then go, go and never come back." There was a slight hint of pain in his voice and Dean turned around, to loot at Sam.

"Dean." Cas whispered, his voice broken and questioning. "I want to be with you."

Dean shook his head, his back to Cas. "No."

"I came to spend my last moment on Earth with you and nobody else." Cas slowly made his way towards Dean and turned him around. "I'm serious Dean, I came for you."

"You Idiot," Dean spoke harshly, "That's not what I want," There was resentment in his eyes and his tone, "What am I supposed to do when you are gone, huh? What about the time we spent together? What's going to happen to that?"

"I'll be visiting and watching over you"

"No." He shook his head, "No."

Cas tangled his arms around Dean and moved his lips up towards him for a kiss, but Dean turned his face. "Kiss me, Dean." He asked.

"Leave." Dean freed himself from Cas' grasp and moved towards the bed. His heart heavy and anger boiling, Dean didn't know what to do but sit. He had already felt this before, he had told himself not to get close and he had made the mistake of doing just that. "I SAID, LEAVE." A livid scream and Cas was gone.

"Dean, he doesn't know about this kind of stuff." Sam shook his head.

"I don't need to hear from you right now."

* * *

Cas sat inside the Impala and waited patiently. There was no one coming, he knew but he didn't have any place to go right now so the best thing he could do was sit here, the amazon sounded a bad place and the best he could find was here. Dean hadn't kissed him and didn't hug him back, the emptiness and sadness he felt was imposing. He thought that maybe if he became part of the Garrison again, he would know more about what was going on and he could protect Dean from the unknown but Dean wasn't getting it.

Dean loves him and he loves Dean, so what was the problem? He was still going to visit him and they would still get to be in bed at nights, kisses and soft touches, Dean's sweaty body above his and all the other stuff.

Cas stared out the window till it got late, till the sun went down and no one called for him, not Dean and not Sam. He was supposed to spend his day with Dean, maybe make out but somehow he had yet again angered him and the feeling was overwhelming.

* * *

It was about to be midnight and Dean finally pulled a blanket over him, calling it a night. He curled his fist tightly around the soft fabric and looked out the window. After so many things he and Sam had been through, these last months were becoming like their old hunts and easier, he and Cas had a good thing going on and everything was falling into place, but now, he was leaving, Cas was leaving and that didn't sit right with him. He had fallen victim to his own heart, he had actually fell in love with Cas, and did Cas feel that same way?

There was a sound and an angelic sense of feeling and Dean knew that Cas was in the room. He closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep, knowing full well and feeling the other's eyes on him.

Cas stared at the sleeping man, from Dean to Sam and back to his lover. Dean had his left arm under his head and his other arm was clutching the blanket on top of him. Cas slowly walked towards him and removed his hand from the blanket, slipping himself into bed with Dean.

He wrapped the blanket and Dean's arm around him, his forehead lightly falling between Dean's chest and shoulder. There was no way he was going to fall asleep but he could at least spend the night here in Dean's arms.

Dean opened his eyes, sorrow and pain filling him. He tightened his arm around Cas and brought him closer, Cas confusedly looked up. "Dean?" He called out but didn't get an answer.

Dean placed a soft kiss to Cas' forehead and laid his cheek across his hair. "I love you." He said, closing his eyes and begging sleep to overpower him. In the morning he had to wake up without Cas and that was all it was going to take to send him back down to the bottom where he had been months ago, a heavy sigh escaped his lips as he tightened his eyes and held on to his angel.


End file.
